How to Survive a Fashion Disaster

F is for Fashion Emergency

surviving-fashion-disasters
Some days even your clothing turns against you. Ripped jeans, stains, zippers –fashion mishaps can make you wish you could turn invisible.

The good news: if you’re not a shape shifter, quick thinking can save you from utter disaster. So push past the mortification and get moving.

Basic Strategy for Fashion Disaster:

  • Find cover: sweater, blanket, towel, backpack, notebook, plate.
  • Gather supplies: belt, safety pins, tape, etc.
  • Retreat: Hit a bathroom, bedroom, or broom closet.
  • Make repairs. (Think outside the box.)
  • Move with care.

If you have a friend/sibling/adult nearby, enlist their help. Be sure you can trust them. You’re in a vulnerable state here.

Be a good friend:

  • Don’t laugh at people suffering from clothing attack.
  • Loan them a sweater/coat/notebook/cover.
  • Locate supplies (tape, safety pins, etc.)
  • Help them find a safe place to change.
  • Guard the door while they change.

Remember these tips for specific fashion emergencies.

Quick Fix for Ripped Pants:

  • Find duct tape*.
  • Turn your pants inside-out.
  • Line up the tape along the direction of the tear.
  • Tape once more, making an X across your first piece of tape.

*Masking tape will work in a pinch. The goal is to locate something heavy-duty. Safety pins also work great. Staples are a last resort.

Walk slowly and carefully. Avoid bending and kneeling.

Quick Fix for Stuck Zipper:

  • Check for loose threads or bunched fabric.
  • Gently wiggle the fabric on either side of the zipper back and forth.
  • S-L-O-W-L-Y work the zipper up and down.

The key here is patience.

Soap Fix for Stuck Zipper:

  • Rub a bar of soap* along the teeth.
  • Avoid getting soap all over yourself.
  • S-L-O-W-L-Y work the zipper up and down.

* Liquid soap and conditioners don’t work as well. You can also try Windex. Test a small area first to see if it will stain.

Quick Fix for Pet Hair:

If you’re lucky enough to have pets, your clothing may get fluffy from time to time.

  • Wash your hands, but leave them slightly wet.
  • Run your hand over your clothes in a downward motion.
  • Collect hair and repeat.

Balloon Fix for Pet Hair:

  • Inflate a balloon.
  • Rub the balloon across the hairy clothing.
  • Collect hair and repeat.

At home, you have other options. Try rubbing a dryer sheet over the furriness. Or pick up extra hair with packing tape. Scotch tape or Velcro will also work, if you have a few hours to kill.

Prevent Pet Hair Attacks:

  • Keep your clothes away from pets (in closets and drawers.)
  • Groom/brush your pets often.
  • Clean areas where they like to stay.
  • Give them good food to eat.

Quick Fix for Underwear Out There:

  • Sit/stand straight. (This closes gaps in your clothing.)
  • Find a belt.
  • Pull your shirt down when you stand up.
  • Wear longer shirts. (The overlap hides underwear).

Wisdom

Don’t worry about what you will eat, or what you will wear. Life is about more than food, and the body is more than clothes.”
-Luke 12:22-23

Say someone enters your meeting wearing a gold ring and fine clothes, and a poor person in filthy old clothes also comes in. If you respect the rich person, giving them a good seat… but tell the poor person to sit on the floor,
Then you have judged your brothers falsely, with evil motives in your heart.
-James 2:2-4

Remember, your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit inside you, which you have from God. You don’t belong to yourself. You were bought with a price, so honor God with your body.
-1 Corinthians 6:19-20

Quotes

“Somewhere near you, somebody right now is trying to help the indigent and poor – providing food, shelter, clothing or simple kindness.”
– Tony Snow

“Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.”
― Mark Twain

“If most of us are ashamed of shabby clothes and shoddy furniture let us be more ashamed of shabby ideas and shoddy philosophies… It would be a sad situation if the wrapper were better than the meat wrapped inside it.”
― Albert Einstein

“ARMOR, n. The kind of clothing worn by a man whose tailor is a blacksmith.”
― Ambrose Bierce

“People seldom notice old clothes if you wear a big smile.”
-Lee Mildon

“Seldom do people discern
Eloquence under a threadbare cloak.”
-Juvenal

“The first purpose of clothes… was not warmth or decency, but ornament… Among wild people, we find tattooing and painting even prior to clothes. The first spiritual want of a barbarous man is decoration; as indeed we still see among the barbarous classes in civilized countries.”
-Thomas Carlyle

“On the subject of dress almost no one, for one or another reason, feels truly indifferent: if their own clothes do not concern them, somebody else’s do.”
-Elizabeth Bowen

“Know, first, who you are; and then adorn yourself accordingly.”
-Epictetus

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